Personal Updates
Almost midnight. The room feels smaller than it should. The weight of everything presses in — money, responsibility, uncertainty. Some nights, the thoughts drift into dark places, whispering about escape instead of endurance. Faith flickers. Hope feels thin. But I’m still here, breathing through it, sitting with the cold, waiting for morning to prove I survived another one.
2/15/20261 min read
It's almost mid-night and I'm feeling kindy feeling really down. I'm in debt, have no money, and can't help my mother with her health issues. I'm fucked up. I'm down horrendously right now, on the ground, and it's still cold outside. can't afford rent either, so there's a chance I'm going to be homeless, it gets to me sometimes... I know god is watching, and he loves me and you (If you believe), but sometimes I just want to put a gun to my head then blow my brains out... The police would find my rotting, corpse and disgusting, smelly corpse with fluids coming out of me...while in my piece of shit apartment with roaches crawling inside and out of my body eating my flesh and what's left of me. I would like to make sure that if, and when I commit suicide, I want a nice, glistening, and thick 45. Caliber to really paint the walls with my blood and brain matter..... May god be with me....
Kurt Cobain
"And I forget just why I taste
Oh yeah, I guess it makes me smile
I found it hard, it's hard to find
Oh well, whatever, never mind."
My thoughts:
Friday, February 13th
Despair
A dark exploration of societal decay and despair.
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